Emotions

Is it a bad word to you? What baggage it comes with, right? When our emotions get the best of us, or we are overwhelmed with emotion, we rarely think, “Well, that was great!” We are embarrassed, we regret it. We think we are loosing our minds or going crazy. We try to shut them down. Why?

Our emotions show us what we love, hate, what we are passionate about. Our emotions can be a tool. Maybe the most important tool next to the bible. Let me explain.

I am learning that in order to truly feel, I have to be in touch with my emotions. However the switch is heavy and not easily moved from on to off and back again. They are either going or not. If I can give them space though, to do what they do best, connect me with my authentic self, then maybe they wouldn’t be spewing out of me in the least convenient times. But really, who cares if they do?!

Also I read the most intimate quote the other day, it changed my perspective on emotions. It made me want to feel, want to cry tears of joy and sadness equally. It made me want to share and share some more, to really connect. To let my emotions out, to be seen in all their glory.

What? Emotions have glory? Well, yes, once you read the quote you will understand.

“But what if emotion, or something similar that is even deeper, wilder, and more real, is an essential element of who God is? What if emotion, as we understand it, is a reflection of what God experiences in his heart.” Curt Thompson, Anatomy of the Soul

He goes on to add that ours is a less intense version… Sometimes my emotions are so intense I think I might burst, but what we are feeling is barely scratching the surface of Gods experiences. So, do you see? Our emotions are a connection, it connects us to our souls, our true selves and that is the dwelling place of Christ, His home. But also, they are a glimpse into what God feels as He experiences us.

If we are made in His image then why would we ever think God doesn’t have emotions?

Now, there is a fine line between feelings and emotions. It is said they are the two sides of the same coin. Connected but very different. They even happen in two different parts of the brain. Emotions effect your physical state, they create behavior that keeps you out of danger and helps you survive. Feelings are reactions to emotions which because they are effected by our past experiences and situations can be false or irrational guesses on reality. Just like our actions, our feelings can come from a sinful place, so our decisions and choices should be based on God, our knowledge of him and his character. Our emotions however, can be a part of that relationship with God, it should be an emotional relationship. It is for Him.

So connect, don’t be afraid of the journey inward. I haven’t arrived yet and I’m not sure I have will fully but its already blown my mind a couple times.

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Something to unlearn…

There is a common thread in a lot of type images and quotes on mugs, social media, teeshirts, etc. The concept of “do what you love”. Don’t stay stuck in a job you hate, quit, and follow your dreams.

I hate this concept. Yup “HATE”

I think it leaves people feeling raw and hopeless. I think it kills joy and happiness and contentment. Because how on earth could you love being a trash collector in January? Or a grave digger? Or how can you find your purpose in being a bank teller or working retail? Heres the deal. We need these people. We need people to work those jobs. In the grand scheme of things there aren’t very many jobs that are joy perpetuating. Most jobs are that, jobs. Work. Repetitive, redundant, boring jobs. The quotes should say, “Love what you do.” “Find purpose in the mundane” The truth is we need each and every person and not everyone is going to be a Rockstar, movie star, or cutsie small business owner that walks to work, passing the flower shop and cafe on their way.

I’ve been brainwashed to believe that if I’m not being energized and finding joy in what I do then I’m not doing the “right” things.

When what I’ve been doing is what I was suppose to be doing all along. I’ve been learning and growing everyday. And god-forbid if we feel less than for being a stay-at-home mom. Like theres something more important than that. Like I’m going to regret my years spent at home. Unfortunately, I felt like that, feel some days.

I felt like I needed to do more, contribute more. Use my gifts, help people, get paid. But the truth is I need to use my gifts at home, help my girls and get paid in kisses and hugs and the contentment that this is where I’m meant to be.

Don’t hear that I think working moms aren’t suppose to be working. I am for both. But I’ve been called to stay home and I didn’t like that calling for 7 years. 7. Because I thought I should be or do more, because I believed the lie that I wasn’t enough.

I guess you could say this is a bit of a soap box. I was going to tell you that before you quit you should talk to God but I think you already know you just aren’t ok with it. If you quite and nothing happens, nothing works out thats an answer. Or you apply yourself and wrack your brain for a job or way to get out of the home and none of them work… thats an answer too, that was my answer.

Okay, God, I except. I’ll only be a stay-at-home mom for a little bit longer and I can make the most of it by excepting it first and learning to love it more every day. But if I’m only thinking about how much I don’t like it, or how I’m not very good at it, or how it steels my sanity then, yeah, I’m not going to progress.

Then, theres also the thought that I’ve had that if I’m not content with this I won’t be content in anything. Its like thinking you need just a little more money and everything will be ok, but if you have terrible spending habits then more money only means more problems. Start taking care of whats on your plate, and either your plate will grow or you will learn to love the plate you have, just the way it is.

You can turn joy on and off. Not with the switch of a job but with the switch of your heart.

What I think God might say,

My dear,

You think because you can’t see me, I don’t see you.

You think because you can’t hear me, I’m not listening.

You think because someone has hurt you, so will I.

You think because you feel lost, that I didn’t plan this moment and all the ones to come.

You think because you feel like a failure that I’m not there to make up the difference.

You think because you lack consistency and self-discipline that I won’t still bless you.

You think because someone wasn’t there, that I would leave you.

You think because you can’t forgive yourself that I haven’t already.

You think because you ask for things and I don’t give them to you, how you feel I should, that I’m mad at you, or not paying attention to you, or that you aren’t deserving of good gifts.

You are wrong. But thats ok.

I love you with the fullness of time and space, your comprehension can’t understand one molecule of my love.

I think of you relentlessly.

I have heard every word, whisper, thought, sigh, cry, and laugh that has or will come from the body that I chose for you.

I created you to fail so you would need me.

I gift you beyond your fleeting desires and moods, into your being and soul, into my purpose and plan.

There is a beauty I placed in you that is unparalleled. You don’t have to see it for me to use it but it would help.

You think you are lacking and less than needed and small, you are, you can never be enough for you or for anyone else, its how I made you and thats why I gave you my Son.

However, when you focus on your shortcomings and not on my grace you are distracted and sad. If you could see you through my eyes you would be content, fulfilled, renewed and set on a path with purpose.

You are my dream come true, I have no regrets in you, you will never convince me otherwise.

I see you. I hear you. I’m for you. I forgive you. I love you.

God